What Not to Say

  We've been trying to get pregnant for over 3 years.  To some, that's an eternity. To others who have been trying to 15+ years, it's just the beginning. Eventually people are going to find out that you are trying to conceive.  Well meaning people always have the best advise on how to get pregnant, or what to do when you can't get pregnant. Here are some of my favorites...
1- "Are you sure you're doing it right?" No. Please tell me. Because I've obviously wasted a lot of money already.  
2- "It'll happen when you aren't trying."  Wait... I thought I was supposed to be doing it? 
3- "Go buy a bottle of wine. I only get pregnant when I'm drunk." I'm just gonna walk away now... but can I take your kids with me? 
4- "Take a Vacation! That always helps!" My vacations are anything but relaxing... no one has time for baby making when Disney World opens their doors at 7am! 
5- "Do you want my sperm? It works really well." I don't even KNOW you!!!! At least take me to dinner first.
6- "Why don't you just adopt?" I'd love to adopt.  Can I have $40,000? 
7- "Kids aren't all that great, wanna take mine?" You just might regret saying that... 
8- "You're young, you have plenty of time." I know I look 18, but I promise I'm not.
9- "Is it your fault or his?" It depends on the day. 
And my favorite advise of all...
10- "You need to Relax!" Oh.... I'm soo gonna go to jail for this....